Let's Hear it for the Boys!

My husband is a great father. He makes our son laugh, is really good at giving hugs and medicine, remembers when the dog needs her Frontline and unloads the dishwasher every morning. Yeah, he travels for work more than I'd prefer. Yes, I do get the occasional "Mmmmmhhhm. I'm watching, I'm watching!" as he pecks away on his Blackberry. He's dedicated to his company and he's hardworking and though there are times that I am annoyed that he has to fly out for a product launch on a Saturday or Sunday, he is a good father and a good husband.

There are more and more men who are doing a good job with the whole work/life balance thing. They are turning off the Blackberry on the weekends or, are at least only answering the really important emails. Sure, there are a ton of errands to run and things to be done in the yard but after getting through the "To Do List", they're hanging with their honeys. However, for many working dads, it's still not enough - the majority of dads are spending less than three hours a day with their children. According to CareerBuilder.com's annual "Working Dads Survey", 37% of employed fathers say that they would take a pay cut if it meant having more time at home.

As I've mentioned in previous columns, Americans are letting numerous vacation days slip through their hands, unused. Don't offer to take a pay-cut, dads! USE YOUR EARNED VACATION DAYS!

I know that for our family, the only time that my husband truly relaxes and lives in the moment is when we're away. Away from the house and the job and the yard and errands and the worries and the To Do List. We have a rule that if we are on vacation, the work emails can wait until we get back unless it's an emergency. I'm trying to have that rule make the leap over to our weekends at home too, but small steps are okay at this point ....

Everyone needs that down time, that time to disconnect - literally, and re-connect with family. That's what weekends and holidays and vacations are for. So this Father's Day, don't let your hubby sleep in - get up and GO! Plan a fun family outing that encourages playing together, laughing together and simply being together, as a family. Live in the moment. Celebrate the lives that you have created together. Celebrate your own father and the life that he helped to provide to you. Then, when the day is over, the toys and sunscreen and dishes put away, think about how you can create that connection on every-day days. What can you do during the week to carve out time to connect as a family? What can you plan for your weekends so that the cherished down-time doesn't become consumed with tasks and errands and "to dos"?

We are going to try to carry that sensation of vacation-relaxation over to everyday lives by making small changes in our routines. We're going to stop overloading our evenings and just sit out on the back porch and catch up. I feed the babe dinner every night and then he goes down to bed after a brief playtime by 6:00 (I know, lucky woman that I am, I have a GREAT sleeper!) but it also means that there is a very finite amount of time that we have to all be together. I am fortunate in that I work adjusted hours so that I am able to feed, bathe and put the baby to bed every night. There are nights when my husband doesn't even get to grab a good-night kiss before the wee-one's bedtime! To remedy this, at least twice a week he's going to come home early enough to take a walk with the babe in the wagon or to meet us at the park up the street for some rousing slide-time. If he's got more work to do, it can either be done after the baby goes to bed or at work the next day. There will always be more to do!

We've also got some fun weekend overnights planned so that we all get to escape the routine and the task lists and just be together. Plus, the hubby can really disconnect. Always a plus. That's what the summer is for, after all!

So Happy Father's Day to all of the Dads out there. And to my guy - I love you for your fabulous feeding-time airplane noises, the goofy distraction faces you make while I dispense meds, and your commitment not only to our family, but the commitment to make the most of your vacation days and time off from work. Thank you for all that you do!