Is Size 2 fat? This is the question screaming from the tabloids these days, thanks to a paparazzo snap of one Jennifer Love Hewitt in a bikini. The other J.Lo, aka "Love," is best known for her role on the 1990s teen-fav TV show "Party of Five." Love has always been a petite girl, but she was definitely sporting love handles in the pic. Frankly, though, Jane found it rather refreshing that at least one Hollywood celeb (Jane is having so much fun using her Access Hollywood -style vocab) is not so narcissistic as to spend all of her spare time in the gym. Besides, Jane would love to see the body of the photog who got the snap, or the editor who bought the pix. Bet they are hardly sporting washboard abs.
But Jane digresses. What is it with women and body image in this country? Everyone is striving to be stick-thin. With the New Year, TV advertisements for weight loss programs are everywhere. Ever notice how 95 percent of those ads are aimed at women? The skinny on scrawny starts in La La Land. The only time a Hollywood celebrity is allowed to be big is if she has a "baby bump." (Jane absolutely hates that phrase. Don't you think whoever first coined that phrase should be banished from the writing profession?) As for women in the real world, it's gotten to the point where clothing manufacturers are playing head games with our bodies. Have you ever been at a store and wondered how, oh, how you are fitting into a size 8 dress when you normally wear a size 12? Well, unless you've lost weight on the way to the store, you are a victim of "vanity sizing." A dress that is a true size 12 is marked as a size 8. And suddenly, the woman who normally wears a 12 finds herself fitting into an "8" and by golly, no matter how ugly the dress, she'll buy it. European designers don't seem to conform to such insanity. In fact, Jane often finds that she has to go two sizes larger when buying Italian-made clothes, not because she has downed a dozen cannoli before shopping, but simply because Italian women, while body-conscious, are not crazy.
As she walks along Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro, as she so often does, Jane ponders all of the maidens sporting what they call bikinis and Jane calls dental floss. As Rio is among the top cosmetic surgery capitals of the world, many of those flossies are sporting bodies that are unnaturally bikini-licious. On the other hand, many of the thongbirds weigh upwards of 200 pounds. In America, one rarely sees larger ladies wearing bikinis out on the beach. So, more power to bigger Brazilian babes for being proud of their bodies. Still, the juxtaposition of liposuction-enhanced stick figures with DDD silicon breasts running around Baywatch-like alongside untouched Brazilian bodies leaves Jane a bit confused as to what "big is beautiful" means in Brazil. Perhaps, in this land of Carnaval, everything goes. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as everyone's healthy.
Is there hope for such an attitude in America? Once we celebrated the hourglass figure. No longer. However, seeing Beyonce on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition last year was hopeful (although, admittedly, SI covergirls are usually a little beefier than the average runway model). Queen Latifah is a spokesperson for Cover Girl cosmetics. America Ferrara is a big hit as Ugly and Un-sylphlike Betty. Oprah is Oprah. And all of these women are role models of sorts. But for every one Oprah or America, there are two dozen Angelinas or Keiras or Gwyneths...in Hollywood, that is. In the real world, the ratio is probably reversed.
Jane doesn't have the answer. But as you ponder your resolution list for the new year, lose weight if it means a healthier, more confident you. But don't feel the need to match up to the matchstick Hollywood figures. You may never be a size 2, but at least you can take comfort in the fact that your body, no matter its shape or size, is unlikely to hit the cover of People.
