Jane had been worrying her pretty head over a lack of column material. So when she experienced, for the first time in her prodigious traveling career, a five-hour tarmac delay, Jane decided to squeeze some lemonade out of lemons.
Aside from taking a positive attitude, Jane weathered said delay (to be explained momentarily) by deep breathing and heavy reading. Actually, the reading was not so heavy, but it was delightful. The Know-It-All by A.J. Jacobs is the perfect travel book. In it, A.J. gives us an A to Z summary of the Encyclopaedia Britannica. It's educational, it's erudite, and it's laugh-out-loud funny. And it's the kind of book you can pick up and put down without losing track of the plot.
But Jane digresses. While it was a beautiful sunny day in Washington, DC, apparently somewhere on the East Coast, storms were raging. As a result, the plane couldn't take off, and after nearly two hours on the runway, it ran out of gas. So, back to the gate we went. Originally, the flight attendant said we should not leave the plane. But then, thanks to a hold of two more hours imposed by Dulles Airport on all air traffic, we were allowed into the airport for 40 minutes. Why the hold, you ask? Well, one Mr. President Barack Obama was flying out of Dulles on Air Force One. Now, Jane is going to give Barack a ba-reak, because, after all, he was going to Egypt in the effort to solve the Middle East crisis, improve U.S.-Muslim relations, and change the world as we know it....while Jane was just going to Jacksonville for a television appearance. But the result of Mr. O's departure from Dulles and subsequent air traffic hold was a back-up numbering 50+ flights.
When we got back on the plane, we discovered we were #34 in line. Another two hours. At 9:30, nearly five hours after the initial departure time, we took off. Two hours later, we were supposed to land. But, oops, the landing gear was acting up. Given that we initially needed fuel after just two hours on the tarmac, and now we'd been on the tarmac for another two, plus in flight for another two, Jane wondered if the needle was hovering near empty. But no worries, dear reader, the pilot was able to sort out the issues via his computer, and there was plenty o' fuel to land.....45 minutes after the original estimated delayed arrival time. We finally got into Jacksonville 'round about midnight.
While Jane was a bit weary, she had clearly drunk her lemonade...having eaten several energy bars along the way. Plus, she was only up to the letter W in her book (which is divided into chapters by letter). So, between reading, crossword puzzles, and napping, she stayed entertained throughout the entire seven- hour+ ordeal.
And so, dear reader, the moral of the story. Prepare for possible tarmac delays before getting on the plane. Buy a good book, make sure your phone battery is fully charged (we were allowed to use electronic devices while sitting on the runway), bring healthy snacks to keep your blood sugar steady, sip water (but don't drink too much of it, if you know what Jane means) and don't be sour. Try to drink lemonade. J
