Stepfamilies get a bad rap. Consider one of the taglines for the movie, "The Stepfather." It asks, "This fall, do you know who your family is?" This movie, of course, hypes the stepparent stereotype of the evil, conniving, self-centered stepdad.
Not surprisingly, Hollywood's reel world of stepfamilies is a far cry from the real world where most stepfamilies are just trying to get along and make life as painless as possible for their kids.
It gets harder during the winter holidays when every parent is trying to get a little time with the kids. Kids new to the complicated holiday dance of stepfamilies can find that spending time with their biological relatives also means spending time with new "brothers and sisters."
Some blended families choose to create their own blended family traditions. For example, they might choose to celebrate a holiday on a day that is convenient for them rather than going through all sorts of machinations to ensure they spend it on the right day according to the calendar. Or they might choose to prepare non-traditional meals (we can only handle so much turkey anyway) to start a new family tradition.
Others choose to leave all of that stress behind and take the entire clan away for a family vacation--intense time together to get to know one another while lounging on the beach or swishing down a mountain.
When traveling with kids that are his, hers and ours, lodging costs can escalate because his kids might need their own space away from hers and ours. But traveling as a stepfamily doesn't have to break the bank. I am a big proponent of house-swapping and timeshare rentals.
House-swapping is the least expensive but it can add stress since it requires additional planning. That's when timeshares might be a better choice. They are generally more spacious and most come with a kitchen and washer/dryer.
Stepfamily expert Shirley Cress Dudley, a stepmom herself, says it's important to separate kids either by gender or by biology. She urges blended families to get organized: provide a personal calendar for each child so they know where they will spend each day, mark their clothes so they are more likely to be returned, and communicate with your ex-spouse about transporting the kids back and forth.
Manage your own expectations, especially if you are new to blended family travel. You can't please everyone, but you can plan ahead so everyone knows what to expect.
