Wyndham Wisdom

Travel Guilt

You stand in the airport security line worrying about what your kids will eat while you are away, whether they will be able to get to sleep without you singing their goodnight lullaby. You have your bags, your laptop, your meeting agenda and a pit in your stomach the size of Delaware along with a full-fledged case of working mom guilt.

Working mothers have more than enough to manage on a daily basis when they leave the house to go to work.  When travel is a part of their job, the balancing act intensifies and for most of us, and the "guilt factor" kicks in. 

Talk to any new mom who is on her first business trip away from her child and you'll find that she is often guilt-ridden, worrying about leaving and worrying even more about how her absence will negatively impact her family.  These working moms feel like they have chosen their careers over their children and are worried sick that their husbands, while in charge back at home, are simply not doing a good enough job and have somehow lost the baby somewhere between the kitchen and the nursery.  Meanwhile, reality is that dad and baby are usually perfectly fine at home enjoying a bottle and a bath, as well as some bonding time.

Traveling moms need to give up some of that control and accept that that their children will be fine when they are gone.  It's hard to turn off the ever-present maternal instinct and hand over some of the control to another caregiver while we are away - be it the nanny, Grandma or even our husbands. It's simple - we often feel that we know best when it comes to our kids - new mom or not.

I have three kids who range from 3 to 13 years old and I've been traveling since they were newborns.  As they've gotten older, I've found that my kids actually enjoy it when I travel on business, not only because of the fun presents that I sometimes bring home (guilt gifts?), but because sometimes, I get to go to some pretty cool places!  I've even had my kids ask me to bring home information for class projects from different places that I have visited during business trips.

When I started traveling for work after having the first baby, I had the "new mom guilt". Now, however, I have "guilty pleasure" guilt.  I have to admit, there are times when I look forward to escaping from the chaos of the day-to-day management of my family and having some quiet time for myself.  Now when I travel for business I am highly productive during the day, and when I return to my hotel room in the evening it is my time.  There is nobody asking me to do anything for them - no kids, no husband, no babysitter...only me.  Do I feel a little guilty?  Maybe a little!

My husband and I frequently have to juggle our working schedules around each other, as we certainly do not want to schedule trips at the same time (yes, it has happened!). When you do have to go away, you might as well make the best of it! Order in room service and tune in to the latest "chick flick" or read that book that you haven't had time for at home.

Whatever you do, try to keep the guilt in check and remember the reasons that you are working in the first place. Is it to better the lives of your children by being able to provide for them? To be a great role model for your daughter who believes that she can become whoever she wants to be? Whatever your reasons, keep them in the front of your mind when the mommy-guilt rears her ugly head.

How do you manage the guilt of being a working mom? How do you manage your travel schedule with the family's schedule? Do you find your travel schedule takes a back burner to your husband's? Email your stories and suggestions to WOTW@wyndhamworldwide.com with "Traveling Mom" in the subject line and tell us how YOU handle being a Woman on Her Way.