Wyndham Wisdom

Table for One - Tips for Solo Women Diners

By Charyn Pfeuffer

We've all been in the awkward position of having to dine alone. As a restaurant widow whose partner slings wine and herds wait staff five nights a week, I've grown accustomed to dining alone at home in Seattle. Although I'd always prefer sharing a meal with my sweetie, I manage to find solace in familiar faces and favorite dishes and have a rotation of haunts I feel comfortable frequenting by myself.

All of this comfort, and the confidence that goes with it, flies out the window when I'm traveling. I'm the kind of traveler that wants to jump right in and experience a destination, but sometimes gets intimidated when it comes to mealtime. Even as a writer who splits her editorial efforts evenly between the food and travel worlds.

In foreign countries, I want to eat at establishments that don't plaster plastic-coated English menus in the front window. I believe that one of the best ways to get to know a place is by talking to locals and fellow wanderlusters. More than anything, I don't want to run the risk of "Solo Woman Diner Syndrome." I don't want to play the kitten card, but if you're a woman who's ever gotten stuck at the corner table next to the kitchen and been ignored, you know what I mean. Many restaurants are very receptive to solo diners, but I've had my fair share of less-than-stellar experiences and try to prepare accordingly.

As tempting it may be to hole up in the safe confines of your hotel room and order steak frites, you can't hide forever. For one, all hotels don't offer room service. Secondly, you'll never be able to embrace a destination if you play chicken.

Here are my tips on how to dine out without an entourage, feel confident, and hopefully, have a fabulous time.*

• Call ahead and make a reservation. If you're shy about making the call, ask the hotel concierge to help out.

• Give yourself great date. A swipe of lipstick, pretty dress and pair of heels always give me a boost of confidence. And sometimes that's exactly what I need to make it through the door of that Michelin-starred restaurant I've been dying to try.

• If you get seated at a table that you aren't crazy about, it's okay to request a different spot. Remember, you may be flying solo, but you're still a paying customer.

• Instead of updating Twitter or playing Angry Birds while you wait for your meal to arrive, make eye-contact with your bartender or server. Dining alone is a far less isolating experience when you make an effort to engage.

• Bring a book or magazine. People-watching is usually enough to keep me entertained, but it's nice to have an emergency crutch if necessary.

• Leave your smart phone in your purse. Nobody wants to hear their fellow neighbor yapping away while they're trying to enjoy a meal.

• Some restaurants have open kitchens. If you're a foodie like me, there's no better place to be.

• If you want to socialize with locals and other travelers, grab a seat at the bar. Service tends to be quicker and it's easier to strike up a conversation with strangers.

• If an unsolicited stranger asks something to the effect of, "What's a girl like you doing eating alone?" call over the waiter to diffuse the situation. I'm a smart aleck by nature, but have learned it's best not to engage unwelcomed advances.

• Relax. Despite how you may feel, everyone in the restaurant is not looking at you. If you scan the dining room, chances are you can spot a first date that is far more awkward than anything you're feeling.

• Don't skimp on the tip. Whether you're dining solo or with a group of friends, it's always good to reward a job well done.

Lastly, my most important tip is to enjoy yourself! Like most things in life, practice makes perfect, and in time, you'll feel less self-conscious dining solo. You'll quickly figure out what scenario works best for you, whether it's sidling up the bar for a quick meal or settling into a table with a view for the chef's tasting menu. May the solo dining forces and an extra abundance of confidence be with you. Bon appétit!

Do you dine out solo when traveling? What are your tips for feeling comfortable in new surroundings? Feel free to send 'em to cpfeuffer (at) yahoo (dot) com.

*You do have my permission, though to indulge in breakfast room service breakfast in the comfort of a robe, slippers, and high-thread count sheets. Kelly Ripa and a carafe of coffee pretty much completes me.